Reductio Ad Absurdum

I haven’t updated in a wicked long time. I started classes. They’re going well. The usual blah blah blah. I’m enjoying my reading. Speaking of reading, I have to read Benito Cereno tonight, and then start Jane Eyre tomorrow. I also have to start Paper Daughter tomorrow. So much reading!

I like the writing I do for my advanced writing class, but I don’t like the class. I’m not going to say it’s “too happy” for me, because I don’t want to sound like a completely miserable person, but, well, it’s too happy. In this class, everyone is a winner. Everyone’s writing is wonderful, and everyone’s writing is a winner. I hate it, because it’s just not true. And I am not saying that to be stuck up because I think my writing is better than everyone else’s. I am saying that because when I read a piece of my writing out loud to the 11 other students in the class, I want feedback! I’m mad because I know my writing sucks! If my writing didn’t suck, I’d be a published author selling books at Barnes and Noble. But I’m not a published author selling books at Barnes an Noble, so my writing sucks! (my philosophy teacher would cream her pants over that deductive argument I just used in my journal entry!) Moreover, I want negative feedback so I know what to improve in my writing! In this class, when we read out loud to the class, the rest of the class is not allowed to respond or comment, because the teacher said, “I don’t want anyone responding or commenting, because if someone or some people respond more to one person’s writing and not as much to another’s, I don’t want that other person to feel like her writing is left out, or not as good.” I’m not in kindergarten anymore. I can handle criticism, and I can handle it when someone doesn’t like my writing. In fact, I really, really, really want to know when someone has a problem with something I wrote! I write (and all writer’s write) for an audience, whether the writer acknowledges it or not. Therefore, if the intended audience doesn’t understand what I am saying, or has ideas as to what I can improve, I definitely want to know! I am taking a writing class to improve my writing, not to have everyone hold my hand and say, “aww isn’t that nice?” Ok, that rant is done now.

I’m gonna order myself a pizza tonight, eat it, then pass the fuck out because I am so tired! I worked two shifts at Bagelz yesterday, then wrote a 5 page paper, then read half of a novel. I also went to class Tuesday 8-5 non-stop, then worked 5-10 Tuesday night, and went to class today 8-5. Fuckers!