writing, creativity, and ice scrapers in the back seats of cars that are more significant and useful than those airport novels

I move back to Rhode Island tomorrow for the semester. Well, actually I am going back to RI for about a day, going to work in RI tomorrow, then going to class 8-5 on Thursday, then leaving at 5 on Thursday to come home, then going to Boston either Thursday night or Friday to visit my Jonathan for the weekend. I am really looking forward to going to Boston this weekend to see him. Spending time with him is always fun, and we're going to go ice skating, go out for tea (which we always do), and DRINK. I love it.

Anyways, I went off on a tangent. I'm moving back to Rhode Island tomorrow. This semester I am going to try to organize group rides with the cycling club. The cycling club there is kind of dormant so I want to revive it.

I'm also taking creative writing class. Well, it's sort of creative writing class. It's its weird own little class. It's a 400 level writing class in the women's studies department, but it's taught by a fiction writer, so it's a fiction writing class. Anyhow, I'll have to stay deep in the creative process this semester in order to do well in the class. I need to take the class to take my writing and my creative process to the next level, and I haven't done that in so long. It's just such a drain to go all out and write. I can't just write fun little poems here and there for fun. It's either going to be everything or nothing. Lately (as in the past few years) it's been nothing. It's just not the time to write. And instead of driving myself towards insanity about it the way Plath did for example, I'll just accept it. It's not the time to write. Maybe now it is, since something told me to take this class this semester. But I have to stop beating myself up over not having written anything significant the past two or three years. It's not writer's block. There is no such thing as "writer's block." People who suffer from "writer's block" write suspense novels or romance novels thrown away in airports or left to get dirty and wet on the backseat floor of cars. They get torn up every time you throw your ice scraper down next to them, or stained every time you toss that styrofoam white, orange and purple Dunkin' Donuts coffee cup next to them . They're just as insignificant as the authors who wrote them. And if that sounds condescending and elitist, then, yea, it is.

So will I write anything of significance this semester? Will I finally submit something to a literary magazine? A poetry contest? Will I invest myself in my writing the way I did in high school? If I don't, why not? Am I lazy, or is it just not the right time? Will the right time show itself eventually? Do I have to move away somewhere to be able to write? What is it?

Hi. I am so tired. I've just finished working 32 hours in 3 days, and I have to go to a funeral early tomorrow morning, and it's late now, which means I won't be getting much sleep tonight. It's shitty, but I guess it could be worse.

We're supposed to get a lot of snow tomorrow, and apparently a lot of schools have already canceled for tomorrow. So that means when I get home from the funeral and whatever else we have to do tomorrow, I am coming home and passing out in a nice warm bed while I watch the snow fall outside. I love it.

I'm mad at my parents. If they don't stop bitching at each other, I am going to kick them. When I am older and married, I'll never raise my voice to my husband, and if he raises his voice to me, I'll kick him.

Anyways, I went for a bike ride yesterday. I hit a wall, BIG TIME! I got to the biggest climb of the ride, and right before I started the climb, my legs just like, stopped. I couldn't pedal anymore. I had to stop for a minute, have some water, and try to figure out wtf to do. I ended up finishing the ride and completing the climb, but god damn. I have never hit a wall like that before. I think I miscalculated how much I needed to eat the two days before the ride. The 11 hour closing shift at work followed by the 7 hour closing shift definitely didn't help either. I need to remember: when going on long rides, don't do so after closing shifts! My legs can't take that kind of abuse. Well they can, but I don't get as much out of my ride as I could if I were riding healthy.

I did some yoga today.

So far since the new year, I've lost 2lbs. I weigh myself at the same time every morning. 2lbs! My goal is 7, so I have 5 more to go. I want to get to 125 by the spring for my riding.

Drake and Josh is the dumbest show I've ever seen.

I've decided to vote for Hillary instead of Barack.

My new clothes that I bought are AWESOME. I look hot.

People I do not enjoy

Tony Romo- He was spotted this weekend in Mexico vacationing with Jessica Simpson. He has the biggest game of his career to prepare for, and he's vacationing in Cancun? Not very professional, Tony. Likewise, where was Tom Brady spotted? Oh yea, in the weight room. Getting ready. For another big game. When Tony Romo's blubber left over from his little siesta in Mexico is hanging over his belt and dragging him down next week when he's trying to get away from the Giants defense, maybe he'll wish he took notes from the man he wants to be. You don't take a weekend off when you have the playoffs and potentially the Superbowl, the biggest game in football, to prepare for. It's arrogant. It's like Floyd Landis being spotted eating at an In-N-Out while he was training for the Tour de France, the biggest bike race in the world. It's arrogant, and it had an obvious affect on Floyd's performance. Maybe he would not have blown up and cracked on that stage that nearly cost him the Tour, or even finishing in the top 10! And maybe he would not have been caught shooting testosterone into his ass. Ah well.

Roger Clemens- He too should take notes from someone else. Lance Armstrong. Roger: it is not beneficial to your case to be an asshole ala Barry Bonds while trying to defend yourself against cheating for your entire career. Lance faces the same accusations every single day, and he's been doing so since he won his first Tour in 1999, and yea, on the bike Lance is an arrogant ass, but that's how he competes. To the public and everyone else, he isn't an asshole. Get a grip, Roger. And grow up. Aww someone doesn't like you? Cry me a river.



Ok, I had to vent.