Wednesday, June 27, 2007
The runt of the litter
I've been working a lot lately. Been working at Papa Gino's (blah I know). But it's money. I make $.7.75 an hour working up front waiting on customers and being the oven bitch (watching the pizzas and taking them out of the oven and cutting them up and putting them in boxes and sending them on their way), and am currently being trained to make pizzas, so once I am fully trained to make pizzas I will get a raise of like a dollar, so that's pretty sweet. We had a pizza making class I had to go to yesterday from 9-11, however, and I was like the runt of the litter. There were 4 of us (girls), and two have been working there for a few years, and the other girl has been making pizzas for a few years, then there was me that my boss just stuck in there. I knew absolutely nothing because I just started a few weeks ago. I was pretty surprised my boss sent me out there to make pizzas that fast. I guess I'm a decent worker :-P
Saturday, June 23, 2007
people shouldn't fight, but we do anyway
A friendship with someone is probably going to be permanently discontinued, and it's unfortunate. And I'll go right out and say that no, I am not talking about Jonathan. I haven't spoken to him since the middle of April, but I am not talking about him. Those who know me will be able to figure it out.
But my reasoning behind it is fine. If I am a friend, you're not mean to me. That is the way things work. I'm not mean to you, so don't be mean to me. It's not about the specifics here (ie, re-adding me onto myspace as a friend), but rather, what it shows, the fact that you ignored the request for three weeks specifically. Speficially ignored it day after day even though you knew it was there. You admitted you were ignoring it. And you gave the excuse, "eh I am easing back into the friendship" (this was after a big fight we had). Well, if we're friends and we got over the fight and moved on, you should do that, move on. Don't keep people who are close to you out of your life. And do not act like that I need to work back into your circle of friends. That I need to earn my way back into your little circle of trust. If I broke your trust, tell me. If it's broken, tell me. Don't play games and act like everything is ok when it's actually not. And be straight with me about other things in your life, and you know exactly what I am talking about. If I am your friend, treat me like a friend. Either be friends with me, or leave me alone, but don't play games. I don't have the time for people like that, and I don't treat people like that, so I don't expected to be treated that way in return. Friends argue, and friends fight, but if they are friends and they trust each other, they move on. You couldn't do that, so sorry, I don't want to waste my time. If a fight ruins a friendship for you, I feel sorry for you. If you are that closed off to others, I feel sorry for you.
And telling me that I need patience before you do certain, simple little things for me is not only slightly controlling, but it's terribly condescending. I haven't done anything wrong to break trust, and I am not going to be convinced otherwise. I spent enough years being convinced that I was doing something wrong when I was actually acting normally, and I don't plan on continuing to do that. Confrontation with a friend is not breaking trust. I did nothing wrong.
But my reasoning behind it is fine. If I am a friend, you're not mean to me. That is the way things work. I'm not mean to you, so don't be mean to me. It's not about the specifics here (ie, re-adding me onto myspace as a friend), but rather, what it shows, the fact that you ignored the request for three weeks specifically. Speficially ignored it day after day even though you knew it was there. You admitted you were ignoring it. And you gave the excuse, "eh I am easing back into the friendship" (this was after a big fight we had). Well, if we're friends and we got over the fight and moved on, you should do that, move on. Don't keep people who are close to you out of your life. And do not act like that I need to work back into your circle of friends. That I need to earn my way back into your little circle of trust. If I broke your trust, tell me. If it's broken, tell me. Don't play games and act like everything is ok when it's actually not. And be straight with me about other things in your life, and you know exactly what I am talking about. If I am your friend, treat me like a friend. Either be friends with me, or leave me alone, but don't play games. I don't have the time for people like that, and I don't treat people like that, so I don't expected to be treated that way in return. Friends argue, and friends fight, but if they are friends and they trust each other, they move on. You couldn't do that, so sorry, I don't want to waste my time. If a fight ruins a friendship for you, I feel sorry for you. If you are that closed off to others, I feel sorry for you.
And telling me that I need patience before you do certain, simple little things for me is not only slightly controlling, but it's terribly condescending. I haven't done anything wrong to break trust, and I am not going to be convinced otherwise. I spent enough years being convinced that I was doing something wrong when I was actually acting normally, and I don't plan on continuing to do that. Confrontation with a friend is not breaking trust. I did nothing wrong.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
bicycle
I rode in the pouring rain yesterday, and it was amazing. Absolutely amazing. AA. That's my AA. The bike. Well that doesn't make much sense. I'm not using the bike to recover from alcohol abuse. Ok anyways, I rode yesterday in the pouring rain and it was so amzing. I wanted to try to beat the rain, but I left an hour later than I wanted to, so I got stuck in the rain for an hour longer than I wanted to, but it worked out well because riding in the pouring rain was awesome. I was pedaling down windy streets with forest on both sides, rain pouring down, barely able to suck in air, water pouring down my face, off my helmet, down my legs. It felt nice too. The rain felt really, really nice.
So I went out for another long ride today. By the time I got back to Franklin I was a bit tired, but I was feeling really, really good. Really solid. I think I am really on track to reach my goal of a 100 mile ride by the end of the summer. I'm so excited that I've been riding the way I have been. I am gonna do a 50 mile ride on Sunday, which means I am halfway there! Yay!
So I went out for another long ride today. By the time I got back to Franklin I was a bit tired, but I was feeling really, really good. Really solid. I think I am really on track to reach my goal of a 100 mile ride by the end of the summer. I'm so excited that I've been riding the way I have been. I am gonna do a 50 mile ride on Sunday, which means I am halfway there! Yay!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Eddie Murphy is brilliant
This clip of him talking about the ice cream man is so brilliant. I love. It's short, so watch and enjoy.
It's so true too. I have little sisters who are 6 and 7 years old, and that is EXACTLY how they act when they hear the ice cream truck. "MOMMMMMMMM!" Haha.
It's so true too. I have little sisters who are 6 and 7 years old, and that is EXACTLY how they act when they hear the ice cream truck. "MOMMMMMMMM!" Haha.
Monday, June 18, 2007
I kind of have a lot I want to discuss today. This is kind of a depressing post
Some of it is serious, some is light hearted.
First, I haven't been able to get out in my bike in like a week, and it is driving me NUTS. I've been too busy. 'Tis sad. I have either been working, or it has been pouring, Saturday I went to Norwell to a cookout with my parents' friends. Yesterday I worked 1-10. Today I was going to get out and ride, but I woke up wtih a headache. Tomorrow it is going to be like 90 degrees, and I can't go out in the morning because I have to go to a mandatory pizza making class at Papa Gino's in the morning. So I guess my next ride will be Wednesday morning. I will still work out tomorrow though.
On Saturday my parents and sisters and I went to Norwell to my paernt's friends house for a cookout type thing. It was just us and their friends, but it was nice. We went there because my dad's friend, Glen, got cancer two years ago, and he got it all over his body. His brain, spleen, stomach, liver, lungs. It was everywhere. He was on his deathbed 3 times. Once in Texas when he thought the worst was behind him, so he went there with his wife, Rainy, to visit some relatives. Then he suddenly got really sick in Texas and almost died in a hospital there. This man puts Lance Armstrong to shame with the stuff he has been through and survived. Now he's doing fantastic, and by looking at him you would never, ever think he was ever sick. It made me sad, though, because Glen and Rainy both said to my parents that they are the only real friends that they have. They are the only people who really talk to them and who actually care how they are doing, and who are actually willing to see them. Glen and Rainy used to live in Hyde Park, and he and my father grew up together so they have been friends for years. When they moved out to Norwell, Glen's brother Ricky also moved out there to a house just a couple minutes down the road from him. When Glen got sick, Ricky and his wife never once stopped by to see how Glen was doing. For two years Ricky never bothered to see how he was. When Ricky and his wife Patty were living in Hyde Park, they never once invited Glen or Rainy to their house to go swimming in their pool. For the short time we were in the house with our pool in Hyde Park, Glen and Rainy were over our house more times than Glen has ever seen his brother who lives two minutes away. It's terrible. Your brother has cancer, almost dies, is given a 2% chance of living, and you or your wife never once stop by to see how he is doing? Or you never call to see if your brother or his wife need anything? Unbelievable. And the "friends" Glen and Rainy made in Norwell are just as bad. As soon as Glen came down with cancer, the phone calls and visits stopped. Are people afraid that they can catch cancer?
I don't understand how people can be like that towards people that are supposed to be close to them. Be nice to those who are close to you. There is no reason to be mean. There is no reason to be disrespectful. Is it really that difficult to care about someone? Or to do something for someone just because you want to, and not just because you are asked or told to? Or am I really that naive?
I don't think it's a matter of being naive though. Whoever reads this will probably laugh at what I write next, but I don't really care. I don't think it's about being naive, because I have been watching this season of Celebrity Fit Club on VH1, the show that takes a bunch of overweight and unhealthy celebrities and gets them into shape, and I was pretty moved by this season's cast. Just to catch everyone up who doesn't watch the show: this season was drama filled. There are eight people on the cast: Ross Matthews (from the Tonight Show), Kimberly Lock (singer), Tiffany (singer), Maureen McCormick (Marsha Brady), Cledus Judd (singer), Warren G (singer/rapper), Da Brat (rapper), Dustin Diamond (actor/has been). The entire cast was great, except for Dustin Diamond. They all got along well, loved each other, supported each other, lost enormous amounts of weight, respected each other. But Dustin did not. He hated everyone, and blatantly disrespected everyone, especially women.
Anyways, I was moved by this season because of the closeness of the other seven members of the cast and what they all accomplished together. They all loved each other and supported each other even though they were on different teams who were supposed to be competing against each other. They were all genuinely happy to see each other's successes, and they all genuinely supported each other during each other's rough spots. And they all worked really hard and lost tremendous amounts of weight. So why is it so hard for some people to be supportive of others? Or to be nice to others? Or to do something for someone else?
Why do some people have to be so disrespectful like Dustin Diamond? And so self-righteous like he is? He thought he was It. And he thought the whole world was against him. Everyone has bad intentions. Why? Some people are nice people. And the other seven members of that cast proved that.
First, I haven't been able to get out in my bike in like a week, and it is driving me NUTS. I've been too busy. 'Tis sad. I have either been working, or it has been pouring, Saturday I went to Norwell to a cookout with my parents' friends. Yesterday I worked 1-10. Today I was going to get out and ride, but I woke up wtih a headache. Tomorrow it is going to be like 90 degrees, and I can't go out in the morning because I have to go to a mandatory pizza making class at Papa Gino's in the morning. So I guess my next ride will be Wednesday morning. I will still work out tomorrow though.
On Saturday my parents and sisters and I went to Norwell to my paernt's friends house for a cookout type thing. It was just us and their friends, but it was nice. We went there because my dad's friend, Glen, got cancer two years ago, and he got it all over his body. His brain, spleen, stomach, liver, lungs. It was everywhere. He was on his deathbed 3 times. Once in Texas when he thought the worst was behind him, so he went there with his wife, Rainy, to visit some relatives. Then he suddenly got really sick in Texas and almost died in a hospital there. This man puts Lance Armstrong to shame with the stuff he has been through and survived. Now he's doing fantastic, and by looking at him you would never, ever think he was ever sick. It made me sad, though, because Glen and Rainy both said to my parents that they are the only real friends that they have. They are the only people who really talk to them and who actually care how they are doing, and who are actually willing to see them. Glen and Rainy used to live in Hyde Park, and he and my father grew up together so they have been friends for years. When they moved out to Norwell, Glen's brother Ricky also moved out there to a house just a couple minutes down the road from him. When Glen got sick, Ricky and his wife never once stopped by to see how Glen was doing. For two years Ricky never bothered to see how he was. When Ricky and his wife Patty were living in Hyde Park, they never once invited Glen or Rainy to their house to go swimming in their pool. For the short time we were in the house with our pool in Hyde Park, Glen and Rainy were over our house more times than Glen has ever seen his brother who lives two minutes away. It's terrible. Your brother has cancer, almost dies, is given a 2% chance of living, and you or your wife never once stop by to see how he is doing? Or you never call to see if your brother or his wife need anything? Unbelievable. And the "friends" Glen and Rainy made in Norwell are just as bad. As soon as Glen came down with cancer, the phone calls and visits stopped. Are people afraid that they can catch cancer?
I don't understand how people can be like that towards people that are supposed to be close to them. Be nice to those who are close to you. There is no reason to be mean. There is no reason to be disrespectful. Is it really that difficult to care about someone? Or to do something for someone just because you want to, and not just because you are asked or told to? Or am I really that naive?
I don't think it's a matter of being naive though. Whoever reads this will probably laugh at what I write next, but I don't really care. I don't think it's about being naive, because I have been watching this season of Celebrity Fit Club on VH1, the show that takes a bunch of overweight and unhealthy celebrities and gets them into shape, and I was pretty moved by this season's cast. Just to catch everyone up who doesn't watch the show: this season was drama filled. There are eight people on the cast: Ross Matthews (from the Tonight Show), Kimberly Lock (singer), Tiffany (singer), Maureen McCormick (Marsha Brady), Cledus Judd (singer), Warren G (singer/rapper), Da Brat (rapper), Dustin Diamond (actor/has been). The entire cast was great, except for Dustin Diamond. They all got along well, loved each other, supported each other, lost enormous amounts of weight, respected each other. But Dustin did not. He hated everyone, and blatantly disrespected everyone, especially women.
Anyways, I was moved by this season because of the closeness of the other seven members of the cast and what they all accomplished together. They all loved each other and supported each other even though they were on different teams who were supposed to be competing against each other. They were all genuinely happy to see each other's successes, and they all genuinely supported each other during each other's rough spots. And they all worked really hard and lost tremendous amounts of weight. So why is it so hard for some people to be supportive of others? Or to be nice to others? Or to do something for someone else?
Why do some people have to be so disrespectful like Dustin Diamond? And so self-righteous like he is? He thought he was It. And he thought the whole world was against him. Everyone has bad intentions. Why? Some people are nice people. And the other seven members of that cast proved that.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
ugh
*sigh*
I woke up at 5 today. FIVE. On my own. Just woke up. Why? WHY????
I wish I could sleep in the mornings. :(
I woke up at 5 today. FIVE. On my own. Just woke up. Why? WHY????
I wish I could sleep in the mornings. :(
Sunday, June 10, 2007
My lifelong To Do list, in no particular order, complete with entertaining pictures to make it fun
-Have sex after going for a long, long bike ride. For some reason, when I get off my bike after going for a like ride, I am like ROAR, and it seems like it would be The.Best.Sex.Ever. That doesn't happen when I workout though. If I do a regular workout on the indoor bike or the rowing machine or if I lift weights. Not the same ROAR feeling. So that is definitely on my To Do list.
-Climb Mt. Kilimanjaro in Africa. I've been dreaming about doing that for a year now, and I will do it eventually in the next 5 years. That mountain just seems so damn amazing, and I feel like I have to climb it.
-Go to a solo Tori Amos concert. I've seen her perform live twice, but both times it was with the band. If you are going to see Tori live, you have to see her solo. Just her and a piano and some keyboards.
-Ride my bike up Mount Washington's Auto Road. There is a bicycle race up there every year, and Tyler Hamilton competed in it when he got kicked out of professional cycling for two years for doping (ha). Eventually I want to be in the kind of shape to just complete the ride by myself.
That's Tyler doing the race up Mt. Washington.
-Write a book, write a play, and write a book of poetry. Basically self-explanatory. I've been writing for years and I plan to continue.
-Have a son and name him Luke. I've been surrounded by girls and sisters my whole life. I need to have a son when I have kids, and I am going to name him Luke because that is the BEST NAME EVER. I love that name. I don't care what my husband says. Luke it shall be.
-Hike out on the west coast area and the Rockie Mountains area.
-Spend one night in Maine's Baxter State Park. If I can do that without freaking out and ending up in a mental house, I will prove to myself that I am stronger than I think. Aliens live in Baxter State Park. I swear to God.
-Buy a house in Maine near Sebec Lake.
-Get a Beagle when I am older.
-Climb Mt. Elbrus in Russia. It looks BEAUTIFUL.
I have to do two pictures for Elbrus because it's so pretty.
-Visit South America. Maybe see my primas in Bolivia! (my cousins. Yes I have relatives in Bolivia. How cool is that?). Maybe while I am in Bolivia I can climb up Illimani. Yea right. Like I have money to do all this shit.
-Drink real Aguardiente in Colombia. And I can visit Andres! :-P
That's all for now, I think.
-Climb Mt. Kilimanjaro in Africa. I've been dreaming about doing that for a year now, and I will do it eventually in the next 5 years. That mountain just seems so damn amazing, and I feel like I have to climb it.
-Go to a solo Tori Amos concert. I've seen her perform live twice, but both times it was with the band. If you are going to see Tori live, you have to see her solo. Just her and a piano and some keyboards.
-Ride my bike up Mount Washington's Auto Road. There is a bicycle race up there every year, and Tyler Hamilton competed in it when he got kicked out of professional cycling for two years for doping (ha). Eventually I want to be in the kind of shape to just complete the ride by myself.
That's Tyler doing the race up Mt. Washington.
-Write a book, write a play, and write a book of poetry. Basically self-explanatory. I've been writing for years and I plan to continue.
-Have a son and name him Luke. I've been surrounded by girls and sisters my whole life. I need to have a son when I have kids, and I am going to name him Luke because that is the BEST NAME EVER. I love that name. I don't care what my husband says. Luke it shall be.
-Hike out on the west coast area and the Rockie Mountains area.
-Spend one night in Maine's Baxter State Park. If I can do that without freaking out and ending up in a mental house, I will prove to myself that I am stronger than I think. Aliens live in Baxter State Park. I swear to God.
-Buy a house in Maine near Sebec Lake.
-Get a Beagle when I am older.
-Climb Mt. Elbrus in Russia. It looks BEAUTIFUL.
I have to do two pictures for Elbrus because it's so pretty.
-Visit South America. Maybe see my primas in Bolivia! (my cousins. Yes I have relatives in Bolivia. How cool is that?). Maybe while I am in Bolivia I can climb up Illimani. Yea right. Like I have money to do all this shit.
-Drink real Aguardiente in Colombia. And I can visit Andres! :-P
That's all for now, I think.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
gotta love migraines
Howdy.
I was curled up on my floor yesterday vomitting. And feeling throbbing, throbbing pain in my head. Migraine pain. Not just headache. Migraine. It was the suck. The good thing, though, is that I know exactly what caused it. I went out for a long bike ride yesterday, which caused the migraine. But the reason I got the headache yesterday and not on any other day I go out for long rides was because my lack of appetite the day before, the amount of coffee I drank the day before, and my fucking around with my medications the night before. Usually every night I take (all for migraines) 50mg (2 pills) of Topamax, 50 mg of amitriptyline (2 pills), 300mg of magnesium, and a pill (not sure how many mg or whatever) of vitamine b2, and birth control. But the other night I didn't take Topamax or vitamin b2. And look what happened. Jesus Christ. Gotta fucking love migrianes.
I started at Papa Gino's today. It wasn't too terribly exciting. I miss Bagelz. Bagelz was Leanne-style. Laid back, get work done the way you want to get it done, but just get work done. Papa Gino's is like prison. I don't like authority. Never have, and probably never, ever will. At Bagelz I had a boss, but the boss said "we trust you. Just get work done." At Papa Gino's it's, "SELL SELL SELL LISTEN TO ME LISTEN TO ME." No. Sorry. I work my ass off, yes, and do work, clean dishes, mop floors, make food, and run around like a nut. But the crazy uptight selling blah blah blah. Shut it. It's Papa Gino's. It's not brain surgery. Let it go.
Sorry for my bitchiness. I am really tired. I woke up at 5:30 this morning on my own. Just woke up, and stayed up! Cuz I'm not fucking normal and don't sleep in the morning like everyone else!
So aye, off to bed with me. Gotta get up EARLY again (6) to go for a long bike ride yay!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111
I love my bike.
I was curled up on my floor yesterday vomitting. And feeling throbbing, throbbing pain in my head. Migraine pain. Not just headache. Migraine. It was the suck. The good thing, though, is that I know exactly what caused it. I went out for a long bike ride yesterday, which caused the migraine. But the reason I got the headache yesterday and not on any other day I go out for long rides was because my lack of appetite the day before, the amount of coffee I drank the day before, and my fucking around with my medications the night before. Usually every night I take (all for migraines) 50mg (2 pills) of Topamax, 50 mg of amitriptyline (2 pills), 300mg of magnesium, and a pill (not sure how many mg or whatever) of vitamine b2, and birth control. But the other night I didn't take Topamax or vitamin b2. And look what happened. Jesus Christ. Gotta fucking love migrianes.
I started at Papa Gino's today. It wasn't too terribly exciting. I miss Bagelz. Bagelz was Leanne-style. Laid back, get work done the way you want to get it done, but just get work done. Papa Gino's is like prison. I don't like authority. Never have, and probably never, ever will. At Bagelz I had a boss, but the boss said "we trust you. Just get work done." At Papa Gino's it's, "SELL SELL SELL LISTEN TO ME LISTEN TO ME." No. Sorry. I work my ass off, yes, and do work, clean dishes, mop floors, make food, and run around like a nut. But the crazy uptight selling blah blah blah. Shut it. It's Papa Gino's. It's not brain surgery. Let it go.
Sorry for my bitchiness. I am really tired. I woke up at 5:30 this morning on my own. Just woke up, and stayed up! Cuz I'm not fucking normal and don't sleep in the morning like everyone else!
So aye, off to bed with me. Gotta get up EARLY again (6) to go for a long bike ride yay!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111
I love my bike.
Monday, June 4, 2007
Hormones and it's just one of those fucking days
Hormones are driving me insane this evening. I guess it's that time of the month that my body says, "Leanne, you should make a baby today." Even though it's 99.9% physically impossible for me to make a baby right now. Anyways, whatever. My family probably reads this so I am gonna stfu.
I'm loving Regina Spektor lately. Like totally loving her. Like loving her so much that I would do her even though she is the woman and I am the straight. And it's funny, because Ross the Intern (http://blog.nbc.com/ross_blog/) also just posted about how much he is loving her. I started loving her before I read his post, though. Anyways, you should read his blog because it's fucking hilarious and awesome and loving and warm and fuzzy and I love it! I love his Talky Blogs. HEY. Maybe I will start doing Talky Blogs. I will do anything to get people to read this silly journal. I feel like NO ONE READS THIS. ARGH.
In some other Leanne news, I'm really happy lately. Today was a weird day, I will admit. I had no appetite, and I woke up totally not feeling the whole exercise thing, and I woke up with a fuzzy head and it took 4 (yes FOUR) cups of coffee before I finally started to feel like myself. Usually I wake up at 7 or 7:30 and I am like WOO LEANNE LET'S GO RIDE 40 MILES AND CRUSH SOULS AND BE THE SCARY ON THE BICYCLE AROUND FRANKLIN AND MEDWAY AND NORFOLK. But not today. Today was just one of those fucking days.
I got off topic again. I am happy. I am so happy I could go outside and pick up a tree out of the ground and like, throw it, or something. This journal is a little public, so I don't know if I want to get in to why exactly I am as happy as I am now, but I don't know. Maybe some other time. Those close to me know why. No, I don't have a boyfriend or a new love (besides my hot Cannondale, but only Matt will understand the type of love one has for a bicycle that is TOTALLY nonsexual, I SWEAR). Anyways, let's just say I've solved many, many problems that were deep, deep down inside myself. So deep down that only one person has really heard about them, and that person is in Rhode Island somewhere. Another person has heard some of the story, but not all of it.
I am so happy that it's like, when I am powerhousing my bike up a long climb, it's like having an orgasm because I feel so RELIEVED. I feel liberated and free. I feel like me. I haven't really felt like me in a long, long time. But on my bike I feel like me. Even when I feel like I am going to die and my legs are gonna break under me and my lungs feel like they are being scraped with metal rakes and pulled apart and pulled apart and pulled apart and like they are fucking frozen and my ears are pounding and my lips are trembling and sagging and my mouth is hanging open and I have the look of death on my face and I can't possibly get any more oxygen to my muscles as I am climbing up this hill, I still feel like an orgasm. Yes. That's how I mentally feel, because for so long I was missing out on the Leanne zone. I had forgotten how to find it. Even on the crew team I couldn't really find it like I've found it now. When I am on my bike I just want to scream out in happiness because I'm finally me again. And that is what a real orgasm is like.
I'm loving Regina Spektor lately. Like totally loving her. Like loving her so much that I would do her even though she is the woman and I am the straight. And it's funny, because Ross the Intern (http://blog.nbc.com/ross_blog/) also just posted about how much he is loving her. I started loving her before I read his post, though. Anyways, you should read his blog because it's fucking hilarious and awesome and loving and warm and fuzzy and I love it! I love his Talky Blogs. HEY. Maybe I will start doing Talky Blogs. I will do anything to get people to read this silly journal. I feel like NO ONE READS THIS. ARGH.
In some other Leanne news, I'm really happy lately. Today was a weird day, I will admit. I had no appetite, and I woke up totally not feeling the whole exercise thing, and I woke up with a fuzzy head and it took 4 (yes FOUR) cups of coffee before I finally started to feel like myself. Usually I wake up at 7 or 7:30 and I am like WOO LEANNE LET'S GO RIDE 40 MILES AND CRUSH SOULS AND BE THE SCARY ON THE BICYCLE AROUND FRANKLIN AND MEDWAY AND NORFOLK. But not today. Today was just one of those fucking days.
I got off topic again. I am happy. I am so happy I could go outside and pick up a tree out of the ground and like, throw it, or something. This journal is a little public, so I don't know if I want to get in to why exactly I am as happy as I am now, but I don't know. Maybe some other time. Those close to me know why. No, I don't have a boyfriend or a new love (besides my hot Cannondale, but only Matt will understand the type of love one has for a bicycle that is TOTALLY nonsexual, I SWEAR). Anyways, let's just say I've solved many, many problems that were deep, deep down inside myself. So deep down that only one person has really heard about them, and that person is in Rhode Island somewhere. Another person has heard some of the story, but not all of it.
I am so happy that it's like, when I am powerhousing my bike up a long climb, it's like having an orgasm because I feel so RELIEVED. I feel liberated and free. I feel like me. I haven't really felt like me in a long, long time. But on my bike I feel like me. Even when I feel like I am going to die and my legs are gonna break under me and my lungs feel like they are being scraped with metal rakes and pulled apart and pulled apart and pulled apart and like they are fucking frozen and my ears are pounding and my lips are trembling and sagging and my mouth is hanging open and I have the look of death on my face and I can't possibly get any more oxygen to my muscles as I am climbing up this hill, I still feel like an orgasm. Yes. That's how I mentally feel, because for so long I was missing out on the Leanne zone. I had forgotten how to find it. Even on the crew team I couldn't really find it like I've found it now. When I am on my bike I just want to scream out in happiness because I'm finally me again. And that is what a real orgasm is like.
TEN EMOTIONS.
1. are you in love? Hella no
2. do you have a bf/gf? Hella no
3. are you talking to anyone?: Talking to Matt
4. are you bored? No, fucking hyper cuz I drank a pot of coffee
5. are you German? Yes, but people mistake it for Jewish. Eh.
6. are you Irish? A small bit.
7. are you Asian? No
8. are you Mexican? No
9. are your parents still married? Yes
TEN FACTS.
1. hometown: Boston Mass. I live in Franklin now.
2. hair color: Kinda brown kinda blond-ish
3. height: 5'4
4. hair style: Up and out of my face
5. eye color: Green-ish
6. birthday: February 3 1987
7. mood: Nice and relaxed (but hyper from too much coffee). I am happy with life right now. Happy happy. So happy I could like, run outside and pick up a tree and throw it.
9. available: For what? As a girlfriend? Yes, I am available.
10. lefty/righty: Righty
NINE THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.
1. have you ever been in love: Yes.
2. do you believe in love?: Yes.
3. why did your last relationship fail?: Ummmm. I guess you could say I was treated unfairly for a number of years.
4. have you ever been heartbroken?: Of course.
5. have you ever broken someone's heart?: I don't think so.
6. have you had more than 10 girlfriends/boyfriends?: No.
7. have you ever liked someone but never told them?: Yes.
8. are you afraid of commitment?: No.
9. have you kissed someone within the last week?: Unfortunately I have not
TEN THINGS:
1. love or lust?: Love.
2. hard liquor or beer?: Beer. Hard liquor now gives me headaches. Yay.
3. cats or dogs?: Dogs.
4: 1 best friend or 10 regular friends?: Best friend. I don't like a lot of people at once. I'm a simple girl.
5. television or internet?: Internet duh.
6. pepsi or coke?: Coke.
7. wild night out or romantic night in?: Night in with lots of hot sex.
8. Black or white?: Black.
9. night or day?: Day.
10. aim or phone?: I don't care.
TEN HAVE Y0U EVERS.
1. been caught sneaking out?: I don't think so. I don't think I've ever snuck out anywhere.
2. skinny dipped?: No but I want to.
3. done something you regret?: No.
4. bungee jumped?: No.
5. been on a house boat?: No.
6. finished an entire jaw breaker?: Ugh no those are silly.
7. wanted something so badly it hurt?: Not really.
8. wanted a ex bf/gf back?: Used to.
9. cried because you lost a pet?: Yes.
10. disappeared?: I dont know.
LAST:
12. kiss: Blah.
13. hug: Blah.
14. drink: Coffee
15. test: Latin final
1. are you in love? Hella no
2. do you have a bf/gf? Hella no
3. are you talking to anyone?: Talking to Matt
4. are you bored? No, fucking hyper cuz I drank a pot of coffee
5. are you German? Yes, but people mistake it for Jewish. Eh.
6. are you Irish? A small bit.
7. are you Asian? No
8. are you Mexican? No
9. are your parents still married? Yes
TEN FACTS.
1. hometown: Boston Mass. I live in Franklin now.
2. hair color: Kinda brown kinda blond-ish
3. height: 5'4
4. hair style: Up and out of my face
5. eye color: Green-ish
6. birthday: February 3 1987
7. mood: Nice and relaxed (but hyper from too much coffee). I am happy with life right now. Happy happy. So happy I could like, run outside and pick up a tree and throw it.
9. available: For what? As a girlfriend? Yes, I am available.
10. lefty/righty: Righty
NINE THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.
1. have you ever been in love: Yes.
2. do you believe in love?: Yes.
3. why did your last relationship fail?: Ummmm. I guess you could say I was treated unfairly for a number of years.
4. have you ever been heartbroken?: Of course.
5. have you ever broken someone's heart?: I don't think so.
6. have you had more than 10 girlfriends/boyfriends?: No.
7. have you ever liked someone but never told them?: Yes.
8. are you afraid of commitment?: No.
9. have you kissed someone within the last week?: Unfortunately I have not
TEN THINGS:
1. love or lust?: Love.
2. hard liquor or beer?: Beer. Hard liquor now gives me headaches. Yay.
3. cats or dogs?: Dogs.
4: 1 best friend or 10 regular friends?: Best friend. I don't like a lot of people at once. I'm a simple girl.
5. television or internet?: Internet duh.
6. pepsi or coke?: Coke.
7. wild night out or romantic night in?: Night in with lots of hot sex.
8. Black or white?: Black.
9. night or day?: Day.
10. aim or phone?: I don't care.
TEN HAVE Y0U EVERS.
1. been caught sneaking out?: I don't think so. I don't think I've ever snuck out anywhere.
2. skinny dipped?: No but I want to.
3. done something you regret?: No.
4. bungee jumped?: No.
5. been on a house boat?: No.
6. finished an entire jaw breaker?: Ugh no those are silly.
7. wanted something so badly it hurt?: Not really.
8. wanted a ex bf/gf back?: Used to.
9. cried because you lost a pet?: Yes.
10. disappeared?: I dont know.
LAST:
12. kiss: Blah.
13. hug: Blah.
14. drink: Coffee
15. test: Latin final
Saturday, June 2, 2007
A message to professional cycling
Profesional cycling needs to forget about the doping that happened in the past. It is the past. We all know that everyone doped in the 90s. It is not a secret. Coming out now and formally confessing to the world is helping no one (coughRiiscough). Punishing those now who have doped in the past is not helpig anyone. Let's for example say we take Riis's yellow jersey away from the 1996 Tour de France. To whom then do we give it? Ullrich came in second that year. But whoops. Can't give it to him because of doping allegations and DNA tests and subsequent punishments. So who came in third? That would be Richard Virenque. Whoops! Can't give it to him either! See what I mean? It doesn't work. Let us pick a date, say, January 1, 2006. Anything that happened before then, we do not punish. We have to move forward in cycling. Dwelling on the past and trying to punish the past does not move us forward. It just bogs us down, makes us look like a joke, and causes us to move in reverse. Instead we should be moving forward. If you want to clean up cycling, then fine, do it, but do it in the future, not in the past. If you want to clean up cycling, let's have harsher controls and drug tests, and harsher punishments on team managers and not punishments on just the riders. Let's focus on the managers and trainers who place the enormous pressure to dope on the riders. Let's design better doping controls. But stop dwelling on the past. This is ridiculous. Everyone doped. EVERYONE. We know they did. Get over it, and move on, and get out there and ride your bike.
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